"You ought to be listening to this story scared to death,” said the parent of a 13-year-old Reno boy. “If it happened to us, it can happen to you.”
Driving down Riverside Drive, bright-neon signs catch the eye on a grey, gloomy day. Not only is their color luminous, but their messages are too: ‘Don’t Give Up,’ ‘You are Stronger than You Think,’ ‘Stay Strong. You are Worth it.’
They are popping up all over Northern Nevada because of 13-year-old Alec Murray. In fact, the same signs are in front of his parent’s house in Reno.
As a young child, Alec was just like any other kid.
“He loved animals,” said Paige Murray, Alec’s mom. “He loved turtles. He loved dogs. He loved his friends. He was very loyal.”
“He was a Cub Scout and was in Boy Scouts for a while,” said Lee Murray, Alec’s dad. “All the normal stuff.”
Normal stuff. He wanted a new iPhone for his upcoming birthday and for getting good grades at Swope Middle School. It was a Saturday afternoon when his parents agreed to get him that new phone.
“Yeah. He was all jazzed about that,” remembered Lee.
“In retrospect, I’m super glad that we agreed,” said Paige.
Shortly after that conversation, Paige and Lee went to the movies. Alec stayed home.
“We said goodbye, and that was the last time we saw him,” she said.
They were gone not even three hours, when the parent of one Alec’s friends gave them a call.
“‘Alec is saying some really scary stuff about wanting to hurt himself’ and ‘we are concerned,’” Lee remembered the phone call. “‘We are down at the house.’ They were in our front yard. ‘But we can’t get in.’”
Moments later, Alec’s parents get home.
“I, uh, opened the door,” said Lee. “I ran straight back to Alec’s room. As I was coming around the Jack and Jill bathroom I found him. It was already over. Too late.”
Alec took his own life with the family’s handgun.
“There was a glimmer of hope that you could find a way to save this… for that second. But it was way too late,” Lee said fighting back tears.
It was June 8, 2019. Alec was 13.
His parents said he had no prior signs of depression. He did not do drugs or alcohol. It was just one single moment of weakness — possibly because of a break up — that cost him his life.
“He clearly needed help,” said Lee. “For whatever reason, he couldn't reach out to the right person and I don’t want that to happen to anyone else.”
“By talking about it, it helps us heal but also, it could help some other family avoid a similar tragedy,” agreed Paige.
Paige and Lee want parents and teens to see what one rash decision can do. Which brings us back to the signs. A family friend discovered them, started printing them and handing them to homes and businesses in Northern Nevada.
“It was important for me for Alec to not be that guy that we whisper away,” said Lee. “How many other lives do you affect if you were gone?”
Thousands.
That’s how many people knew of Alec when he was alive. However, after his death, the two who knew him the most say their lives will never be the same.
“Dinner time is only three place settings,” he said. “Not four.”
The simple things, like having more ranch dressing or jam than usual, are the most vivid reminder.
“It’s those little things that just are like a dagger…right in your heart,” he said.
“It’s the most devastating blow to a parent is to lose a child,” said Paige.
Alec’s hand print from 2009 still hangs on the kitchen wall. The same hand print, ten years later, sits framed on the dining room table. This print, though, is from the coroner’s office. It is just one example of how the house will never be similar again… but what stays the same for now — Alec’s bedroom.
“Every house has its own smell,” said Lee. “I can go into that room and I can smell him. I’m not sure if I’m ready to wash it away yet.”
If you or someone you know is struggling and needs help, call 1-(800) 273-TALK (8255), text LISTEN to 839863, or you can reach out to the Crisis Support Services of Nevada.
